I really hate change...

I really hate change.

This all being said, I am changing course after putting all my effort to becoming a Medical Assistant.  

What was I thinking?

Well, I was thinking about finishing what I started many years ago. I went to college right after high school. I went to get away from home. This was successful in that I was 900 miles from home out in Allentown, Pennsylvania. This was unsuccessful because both years, someone from Benzie came with me. The first year it was Tom, now my husband but then one of the people I was trying to leave behind. The second year, Chris, another friend from my hometown, came out.

I went to college because I had some grand ideas of what I could be. Needless to say, I didn’t make it very far, was not very driven, had a whole bunch of baggage that I allowed to trip me up, and I dropped out after my second year.

I left college because I really had no idea of what I wanted to be when I grew up. At fifty-two, I still don’t have the beginning clue. Oh, wait, I do. I want to be a writer. I want to hear people’s stories. Will that pay the bills? Hmmmm.. possibly, but I have a long way to go.

When I went back to college, I entered the Medical Assistant program after researching it. It is a growing field. It is expected to continue to grow, and certifications are becoming more and more important in the medical field for everyone. It was not wasted time or effort. The facts are real. I am richer for the experience by far. I have a degree, an Associates of Applied Science degree. I passed the certification exam. I have achieved this goal and overcame many, many obstacles.

So, what happened? Why am I leaving my job? 

It mainly has to do with the drive to Traverse City and back. I have always wanted a chauffeur, but these days, I don’t think I would even want the luxury if I had to be out on days like last winter gave us or in the traffic where the Most Important People have to get where they are going, very important you know, and of course, they don’t have to follow the traffic laws.  I am old enough to choose not to risk life and limb for someone else’s rushing about and lack of attention.

The cost has been high. I have gone through multiple vehicles, multiple sets of new tires, and am always finding unexpected bills such as the ER bill from Tom’s bee sting. I have got to repay the student loans, and so far, I am having a pretty rough time keeping every day bills up to date.

There are some things I need to step back and look at a little better: Like, what is the deal with health care? Please explain how to get the patient to the referral they need to have when insurance is more of a stumbling block than a life-saver. Why are insurance programs being promoted in areas where there are no practitioners or specialists in the area the person lives in who will accept that program or at least, courtesy bill that program? I really thought health care reform was going to be for the benefit of the people. Boy, was I naïve!

Oh, this reform has done good work. People who have been routinely abusing and selling prescription drugs are getting caught. Health care providers have more awareness of how their patients are using their prescriptions and are tracking the effectiveness of the drugs more carefully. People who have abused their health care to get non-medically necessary goods are getting thinned out too. The doctors have to spend more time with paperwork and having to prove necessity. (This, of course, means less time for other patients. But it is necessary.)

It is all about the people. The people need a LOT of hands on care, a lot of babysitting. These same people are the ones yelling at their primary care provider for the federal law changes that has them getting into the doctor’s office to pick up their prescription and have office visits that verify the effectiveness of their treatments. They say we are invading their privacy. The same privacy that they gave permission to the doctor to invade in order to provide for their health care way back when they became patients at a doctor’s office. The flip side is the people who need to ask their doctor about everything, can they wipe their bottoms and is it ok to blow their noses?

People are fragile.

It is maddening. I am good at my job. I have been told by patients and coworkers how well I do my work. But I feel like I am rotten at my job and that people’s lives will be harmed if I make mistakes. So, now I am going either into another aspect of the medical field and gaining even more knowledge and experience in the healthcare field. I can do phlebotomy, did it in the classroom. I will need training, and training is available.

Or else, I will go to another kind of work altogether and rest my brain and heart for a while.